Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here

96Fucked!

i_wuz_nver_herei_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16103
  • Number of comments : 633
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

Photographer, student, lover of life.

i_wuz_nver_here's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:56pm<b>hoosiergirl94</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:13am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 11:59am<b>ohshawna</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:42am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:48am<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:24pm<b>evanfroach</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:27pm<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:30am<b>kawayi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Doghatesme</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:45pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:22pm<b>UnluckyHoax</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:10am<b>Rainbowkupkake</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 11:12pm<b>ScottVining</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:01pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:20pm<b>krstnngd</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:49pm<b>PencilTips</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 8:02am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:56am<b>ohshawna</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:42pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:24am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:48am<b>earljonez</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 8:53pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:00am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:31am<b>HOUSTON112</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:58am<b>ElZedonky0327</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:12am<b>Holijust</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:28pm<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:56pm<b>SecundusSecunda</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:24am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 12:06am<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>pks2014</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:00am<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:51am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:45am

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after years of loneliness, I met the most amazing girl on Omegle. We spoke for ages and really clicked. But before either of us could exchange numbers, I lost my internet connection and her along with it. FML

#21500041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (3083)

On 12/04/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to get a piece of apple that was stuck in between my teeth. A chunk of my tooth came out instead. FML

Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML

#21499888
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/04/2015 at 12:41am - misc - by notfromanisland -

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

#21498394
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/29/2015 at 11:55pm - love - by badplannning (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

#21498310
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/29/2015 at 8:17pm - health - by achoo-plop - United States (Colorado)

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML

#21496649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (3496)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:30pm - kids - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

#21496646
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (2254)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (2670)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

#21496255
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (1592)

On 11/24/2015 at 12:45pm - kids - by wellfuckyoutoo - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML

#21494852
63 comments

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

#21494299
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (2048)

On 11/19/2015 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an obese man decided it was okay to share a urinal with me. FML

#21494198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (1535)

On 11/18/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Creepedout - United States (North Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: