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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13947
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (2741)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (2845)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29134) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38128) - you deserved it (3797)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

#16977432
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (5563)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by brittbrat4 - United States

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

#16977173
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (2198)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by Ashleighx94 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (2941)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

#16956898
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (4442)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:36am - kids - by dee - United States

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (9827) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (9827) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)



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