About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48354) - you deserved it (4928)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68638) - you deserved it (3897)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (8449)
On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (13774)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67633) - you deserved it (3652)
On 04/21/2009 at 4:32am - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (20883)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73293) - you deserved it (4232)
On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9126) - you deserved it (52591)
On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59499) - you deserved it (12221)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49831) - you deserved it (1577)
On 04/17/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by eyeamcool (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (55100)
On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (55100)
On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82219) - you deserved it (30308)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75758) - you deserved it (6600)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15036) - you deserved it (71691)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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