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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14001
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (2629)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

#17143306
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (8154)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (5339)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (5339)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (5080)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

#17107042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (2098)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:53am - intimacy - by TheGoodTwin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (2155)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20791) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36783) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

#17092885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (3721)

On 07/13/2011 at 10:48am - misc - by Evan Chong - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33997) - you deserved it (1993)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117208) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28846) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)



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