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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14044
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (4577)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (9135)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (9135)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26815) - you deserved it (4849)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (2414)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2640)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (14937)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35453) - you deserved it (5400)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (10975)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel

Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML

#17267711
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (28886)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by badbride - United States (California)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (2357)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

#17260985
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (5990)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)



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