About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62386) - you deserved it (3688)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34310) - you deserved it (3170)
On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40) - you deserved it (41244)
On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54403) - you deserved it (4818)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54403) - you deserved it (4818)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9226) - you deserved it (42172)
On 06/10/2009 at 12:36am - animals - by FMLTIMESTWO (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47460) - you deserved it (18504)
On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (270992)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48736) - you deserved it (9040)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (58788)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56501) - you deserved it (2673)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (43387)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (43387)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35571) - you deserved it (3572)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (2613)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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