About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72581) - you deserved it (10078)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (2456)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6458) - you deserved it (42869)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (61471)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (3906)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by sweetsixteen (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12642) - you deserved it (51082)
On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (9687)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49475) - you deserved it (2305)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)
Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8260) - you deserved it (45155)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9013) - you deserved it (85455)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43528) - you deserved it (13011)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5913) - you deserved it (53128)
On 06/18/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by nerd (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13908) - you deserved it (33209)
On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (51624)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4985) - you deserved it (39562)
On 06/17/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by jonnyc - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
