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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8146
  • Number of comments : 552
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (8919)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40388) - you deserved it (2845)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40388) - you deserved it (2845)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (1693)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

#3194809
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10368) - you deserved it (49847)

On 06/25/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by nail714 (man) - United States

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72537) - you deserved it (10073)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (2454)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

#3145872
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6457) - you deserved it (42867)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (61467)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

#3120463
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36682) - you deserved it (3906)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by sweetsixteen (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (51080)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (9687)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8255) - you deserved it (45147)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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