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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13908
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (4012)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (4012)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (1978)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

#17629436
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (4773)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38353) - you deserved it (10750)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (9731)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (9731)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (3313)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

#17612876
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (1998)

On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (34448)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)



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