About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (71482)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60702) - you deserved it (6911)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45757) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55679) - you deserved it (3247)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55679) - you deserved it (3247)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48581) - you deserved it (2616)
On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54751) - you deserved it (6502)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9436) - you deserved it (38287)
On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64765) - you deserved it (5045)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54926) - you deserved it (3088)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:42am - misc - by oshitdonotwant (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39772) - you deserved it (2077)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13448) - you deserved it (58184)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52876) - you deserved it (2423)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (6058)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51756) - you deserved it (1856)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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