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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13831
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (2714)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16003) - you deserved it (45749)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

#17762590
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (1659)

On 09/17/2011 at 3:44am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

#17749628
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (1439)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

#17746159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm - animals - by Twitchy (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (11094)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

#17734152
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (6106)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (2343)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80456) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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