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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8710
  • Number of comments : 554
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2282)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2282)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2282)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (6437)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (6627)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (38880)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36028) - you deserved it (2524)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (3413)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (3413)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

#5867673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (1672)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a phone interview for a job I've had my eye on forever. I was dumped a few hours before the interview, but was okay until I was put on hold with music playing. Me and my boyfriend's song came on and I started bawling. I could hardly talk when they took me off hold. FML

#5862526
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (6886)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by amya (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

#5857727
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (5193)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17498) - you deserved it (10303)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (2309)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)



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