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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13801
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (2268)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (4700)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (10070)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60220) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (2412)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (1747)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

#17952669
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (2571)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm - love - by maninpain - Kenya

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (15169)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (1467)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (1467)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10526) - you deserved it (45434)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (1850)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (17816)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom



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