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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14033
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (1790)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39025) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (17026)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39091) - you deserved it (7375)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3355)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (1824)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (2712)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48993) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (4878)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (8636)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20427) - you deserved it (4831)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60397) - you deserved it (4436)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

#18144620
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (17753)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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