About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (4452)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3212)
On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31951) - you deserved it (7420)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8289) - you deserved it (25979)
On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (4572)
On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (2310)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (12127)
On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (36975)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61330) - you deserved it (4654)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (2867)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (2867)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32448) - you deserved it (6114)
On 09/05/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5026) - you deserved it (40049)
On 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm - misc - by BadassNinja (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5026) - you deserved it (40049)
On 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm - misc - by BadassNinja (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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