About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (3119)
On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you deserved it (57712)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13442) - you deserved it (30074)
On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13442) - you deserved it (30074)
On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (7585)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, my soon to be mother in law sent me a birthday present. It was a necklace for me to wear at my wedding. The pendant is a well known lesbian symbol. I'm a woman and I'm marrying her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (1922)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by whasian (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (9824)
On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45528) - you deserved it (6918)
On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (7171)
On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (7171)
On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (29534)
On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (4452)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3211)
On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31951) - you deserved it (7420)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8291) - you deserved it (25980)
On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
