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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13845
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (38143)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30564) - you deserved it (6218)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

#18271050
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10146) - you deserved it (18948)

On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (7318)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (3355)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (1824)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (2712)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom



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