About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (2683)
On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (7400)
On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (4429)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (11783)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (1610)
On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (1903)
On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (14830)
On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (6093) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (2578)
On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (5259)
On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (38034)
On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36426) - you deserved it (9426)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (1891)
On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (3947)
On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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