Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

i_wuz_nver_here

Online | Search for a member

i_wuz_nver_here

96Fucked!

i_wuz_nver_herei_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 January 1998 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16087
  • Number of comments : 633
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

Photographer, student, lover of life.

i_wuz_nver_here's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:56pm<b>hoosiergirl94</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:13am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 11:59am<b>ohshawna</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:42am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:48am<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:24pm<b>evanfroach</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:27pm<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:30am<b>kawayi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Doghatesme</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:45pm<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:22pm<b>UnluckyHoax</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:10am<b>Rainbowkupkake</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 11:12pm<b>ScottVining</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:01pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:20pm<b>krstnngd</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:49pm<b>PencilTips</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 8:02am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:56am<b>ohshawna</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:42pm<b>AndesFults</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:24am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:48am<b>earljonez</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 8:53pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:00am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:31am<b>HOUSTON112</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:58am<b>ElZedonky0327</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:12am<b>Holijust</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:28pm<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:56pm<b>SecundusSecunda</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:24am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 12:06am<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>pks2014</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:00am<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:51am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:45am

i_wuz_nver_here's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of i_wuz_nver_here's badges

i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, four days before Christmas, I discovered a rash on my daughter's shoulder. The doctor took one look and said, "It's chicken pox. Merry Christmas." FML

#21506142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:45am - kids - by BadLuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

#21506054
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (1499)

On 12/20/2015 at 11:24pm - work - by forever damaged - United States (New York)

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

#21505784
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/20/2015 at 8:26am - love - by mikmak - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

#21505521
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by Sleeping Beauty - United States (New York)

Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML

#21505390
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (1482)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:12am - misc - by tryingtostealmyheart -

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

#21505195
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/18/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by for the whored (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (1917)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my doctor told me I needed to eat more salt to keep my blood pressure from dropping dangerously low. He only shrugged when I pointed out that he had previously told me to eat a low-salt diet to control my vertigo. FML

Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML

#21505155
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (1668)

On 12/18/2015 at 1:16pm - misc - by Tejanoswhy -

Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML

#21505151
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (1762)

On 12/18/2015 at 12:49pm - misc - by tara (woman) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

#21505100
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (6815)

On 12/18/2015 at 9:15am - intimacy - by brokebackanus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

#21505094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18198) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/18/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

#21504934
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (1804)

On 12/17/2015 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: