About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (55438)
On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49203) - you deserved it (8191)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54132) - you deserved it (3468)
On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (5698)
On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61606) - you deserved it (4815)
On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43995) - you deserved it (3575)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51639) - you deserved it (8902)
On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46869) - you deserved it (9544)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15418) - you deserved it (90123)
On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks (50483) - you deserved it (6889)
On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (50791)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66872) - you deserved it (8688)
On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (4112)
On 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm - love - by ApparentlyNotEno (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45576) - you deserved it (4027)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63261) - you deserved it (5767)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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