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About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2662) - you deserved it (617)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5229) - you deserved it (529)
On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5050) - you deserved it (996)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (1397) - you deserved it (7977)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, there is an annular solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4818) - you deserved it (702)
On 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by VocalizedBoar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (5474)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4889) - you deserved it (554)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5708) - you deserved it (509)
On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15723) - you deserved it (935)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5284) - you deserved it (1142)
On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5667) - you deserved it (2576)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2045) - you deserved it (6701)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6809) - you deserved it (629)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4746) - you deserved it (1031)
On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5714) - you deserved it (1019)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)
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