About iCake : I really like cake
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (3689)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (3545)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44041) - you deserved it (6069)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47632) - you deserved it (3281)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39053) - you deserved it (4465) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52782) - you deserved it (9748)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45597) - you deserved it (4128)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (57903)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (5481)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (4817)
On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54312) - you deserved it (6562)
On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (2992)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (5125)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50044) - you deserved it (4405)
On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (5966)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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