hollywoodt1ts

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hollywoodt1ts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1738
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hollywoodt1ts : I grabbed life by the horns, broke the bull's leg, and lived to tell the tale.
in other news, I am an avid FML reader. I'm on here at least 4 times a day.
my profile picture is definitely hilarious because it contains a guy with a muffin on top of his head and is in the picture with a girl who has a muffin top. HA!!

enough said.

enjoy my day to day comments.
down right favorite poster on here is DocBastard
trying to keep up with him is like running a three legged race with only a peg leg and a cane.

hollywoodt1ts's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 8:16pm<b>maelynn11</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:42pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:30pm<b>bazzers</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>Chris93Jones</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:24am<b>treschicmylove</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:07pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:37pm<b>chrisiffer</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:23pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 6:30pm<b>sparkin</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 6:20pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 4:06pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:44pm<b>mareenadegler</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 2:31pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 4:25pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 11:58pm<b>Kateyez_26</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:07pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:53am

hollywoodt1ts's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of hollywoodt1ts's badges

hollywoodt1ts's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous