About hollywoodt1ts : I grabbed life by the horns, broke the bull's leg, and lived to tell the tale.
in other news, I am an avid FML reader. I'm on here at least 4 times a day.
my profile picture is definitely hilarious because it contains a guy with a muffin on top of his head and is in the picture with a girl who has a muffin top. HA!!
enough said.
enjoy my day to day comments.
down right favorite poster on here is DocBastard
trying to keep up with him is like running a three legged race with only a peg leg and a cane.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (1958)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (2021)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (2490)
On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (18055)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40845) - you deserved it (15757)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59945) - you deserved it (4610)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44546) - you deserved it (9887)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (3704)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (54735) - you deserved it (7713)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44915) - you deserved it (7239)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (1345)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37610) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14132) - you deserved it (23707)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (6013)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (2177)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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