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hollylollyxoxo

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hollylollyxoxo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 May 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1615
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hollylollyxoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70604) - you deserved it (15316)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (52032)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34594) - you deserved it (8948)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43934) - you deserved it (8696)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11658) - you deserved it (37296)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45968) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (4036)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

#15114722
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (4098)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (3557)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46899) - you deserved it (4286)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (6947)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

#15059457
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36651) - you deserved it (13217)

On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (42640)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (8026)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)



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