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guitarfreak1509

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guitarfreak1509
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2262
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About guitarfreak1509 : I go to school, play a lot of volleyball, and play guitar. I love music and all of my friends!

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guitarfreak1509's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66022) - you deserved it (22437)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (19380)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (93918)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (36026)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (5787)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213766) - you deserved it (73285)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266186) - you deserved it (49517)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (11838)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version



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