guitarfreak1509

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guitarfreak1509

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3450
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About guitarfreak1509 : I go to school, play a lot of volleyball, and play guitar. I love music and all of my friends!

guitarfreak1509's page activity

Visits<b>peachykeenLNG</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 10:37pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:56pm<b>keepmeonthedl</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 11:34am<b>xtend</b> - the 07/22/2010 at 8:34am<b>_SexyLexi_</b> - the 07/15/2010 at 8:49pm<b>firebee123</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 11:02am<b>C_ory</b> - the 06/16/2010 at 2:34pm

guitarfreak1509's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

guitarfreak1509's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

by Moanie / 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

by Kristina / 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

by MoncaBang / 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

by anx133 / 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm / China (Shanghai) / Health

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

by dooommage / 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm / Animals