fmldontgiiveaf

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fmldontgiiveaf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 174
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fmldontgiiveaf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmldontgiiveaf's favorite FMLs

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

by tempted to become single / 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

by Alright. / 09/24/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

by anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 2:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

by coop7291 / 08/24/2012 at 1:21am / United States / Health

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm / Ireland (Mayo) / Kids

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

by ihatemondays / 08/23/2012 at 2:15am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

by Confused / 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm / Spain (Madrid) / Intimacy

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous