Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fmldontgiiveaf

Search for a member

fmldontgiiveaf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 87
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fmldontgiiveaf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fmldontgiiveaf's favorite FMLs

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9627) - you deserved it (51816)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (1681)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

#20064184
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (21482)

On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (5705)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18219) - you deserved it (2425)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (1303)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you deserved it (10405) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9270) - you deserved it (25056)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (71517)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17839) - you deserved it (12110)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

#20035593
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (3786)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (8847)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

#20031656
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: