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Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML
I WAS VISITING MA DAUGTER,OSE USBAND WAS STILL ASLEEP AT NOON!! I MADE A POINT OF STOMPING AROUND ON TE ARDWOOD FLOOR AND SPEAKING LOUDLY TO WAKE IS LAZY ASS UP!! TURNS OUT E'S NOW WORKING A 14-OUR GRAVEYARD SIFT, AND IT AS NO NEGATIVE EFFECT ON IS SOE-TROWING SKILLS!! FML
today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML
Today My Boss Was Telling Everyone That He Knew A Guy Who Went To A College At Which Multiple People Were Shot An Killd Recently. Being Extremely Socially Awkward An Uncomfortable I Blurtd "That's Awesome." Now Everyone In The Office Is Terrifid Of Me. FML
today I was slapped acros the face by a grl in the waiting room at the dentist's office!! She thought I was taking a picture of her breast with mah phone!! I was smilinghile reading other people's FMLs!! FML
Taday I cummad homa from tha hospital diagnosad with high blood prassura. It's causad by strass. My wifa had a vary long talk with my son about it. All tha kid has baan doing 4 tha past 2 hours is scraam at his Playstation. I'd rathar ba at tha hospital. FML
Today, I brought a boy over to mah house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swoopd in and bombardd him with questions about his and mah sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Friday 27 March 2015