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entwinedrose

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entwinedrose

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About entwinedrose : It seems like there are four mandatory topics on FML profiles.
1. Something about yourself.
I'm cynical. I have been cynical my whole life. Believe me, I was the most cynical 5 year old you could imagine. I am an English nerd, grammar nazi, nerd and a gamer. I aspire to be a dragon rider some day.
2. Something insignificant about yourself.
I am morally against oranges, summer, Twitter, and blowing your nose. I think that raking leaves is the most redundant of boring tasks.
3. A history of how you joined FML
I joined FML for no real reason other than to comment and thumb comments, though I was always too lazy to go onto the computer after I clicked "activate" on my phone, and the email would expire. I finally activated it the day before my birthday, 10/8/2012.
4. Your messaging availability.
I'm on the app. I will rarely answer your messages, but it might be nice to hear from strangers. I do love strangers. Especially the dangerous ones.

entwinedrose's page activity

Visits<b>Screwie</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 3:53pm

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entwinedrose's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18425) - you deserved it (2342)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (4941)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (6001)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

#19756673
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (1650)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (2928)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9815) - you deserved it (32184)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (7719)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9828) - you deserved it (31846)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

#18833422
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (23441)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (3655)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (3630)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11749) - you deserved it (41635)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (7792)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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