About entwinedrose : It seems like there are four mandatory topics on FML profiles.
1. Something about yourself.
I'm cynical. I have been cynical my whole life. Believe me, I was the most cynical 5 year old you could imagine. I am an English nerd, grammar nazi, nerd and a gamer. I aspire to be a dragon rider some day.
2. Something insignificant about yourself.
I am morally against oranges, summer, Twitter, and blowing your nose. I think that raking leaves is the most redundant of boring tasks.
3. A history of how you joined FML
I joined FML for no real reason other than to comment and thumb comments, though I was always too lazy to go onto the computer after I clicked "activate" on my phone, and the email would expire. I finally activated it the day before my birthday, 10/8/2012.
4. Your messaging availability.
I'm on the app. I will rarely answer your messages, but it might be nice to hear from strangers. I do love strangers. Especially the dangerous ones.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13027) - you deserved it (1543)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16805) - you deserved it (4079)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you deserved it (1105)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (3054) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2556)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7609) - you deserved it (21792)
On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19891) - you deserved it (6928)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7428) - you deserved it (21731)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (2282)
On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11154) - you deserved it (16265)
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (2556)
On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (2632)
On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (29760)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (6892)
On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
