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About entwinedrose : It seems like there are four mandatory topics on FML profiles.
1. Something about yourself.
I'm cynical. I have been cynical my whole life. Believe me, I was the most cynical 5 year old you could imagine. I am an English nerd, grammar nazi, nerd and a gamer. I aspire to be a dragon rider some day.
2. Something insignificant about yourself.
I am morally against oranges, summer, Twitter, and blowing your nose. I think that raking leaves is the most redundant of boring tasks.
3. A history of how you joined FML
I joined FML for no real reason other than to comment and thumb comments, though I was always too lazy to go onto the computer after I clicked "activate" on my phone, and the email would expire. I finally activated it the day before my birthday, 10/8/2012.
4. Your messaging availability.
I'm on the app. I will rarely answer your messages, but it might be nice to hear from strangers. I do love strangers. Especially the dangerous ones.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
Monday 1 September 2014