emoaileen

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emoaileen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1926
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About emoaileen : SWS / FIR / TC / WTK / SOM

emoaileen's page activity

Visits<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:54am<b>dianafuentes</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:46pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 3:04am<b>darkgodxvx</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:35am<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 8:43pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:10am<b>acerima</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 11:22am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:34pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:51am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 7:23pm<b>LeCielNousAide</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 4:41pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 10:13pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:53pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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emoaileen's favorite FMLs

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Work

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm / Health

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

by JJBones / 06/29/2012 at 6:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Love