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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18032) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (3952)
On 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18001) - you deserved it (1780)
On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13941) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (2784)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7475) - you deserved it (20229)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (1382)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (6961)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2950) - you deserved it (32850)
On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2082)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8840) - you deserved it (31171)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7718) - you deserved it (21664)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (15284)
On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10543) - you deserved it (20824)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (2813)
On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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