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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (3358)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19176) - you deserved it (961)
On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14963) - you deserved it (1790)
Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18128) - you deserved it (1191)
Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15431) - you deserved it (2927)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17441) - you deserved it (3147)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (1335)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13002) - you deserved it (1463)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15401) - you deserved it (909)
On 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (7313)
On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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