emoaileen

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emoaileen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1699
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About emoaileen : SWS / FIR / TC / WTK / SOM

emoaileen's page activity

Visits<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:54am<b>dianafuentes</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:46pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 3:04am<b>darkgodxvx</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:35am<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 8:43pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:10am<b>acerima</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 11:22am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:34pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:51am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 7:23pm<b>LeCielNousAide</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 4:41pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 10:13pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:53pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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emoaileen's favorite FMLs

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 9:57am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

by Ellwood / 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

by Human fly / 04/21/2013 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 6:29am / Health

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

by aaaaahhhh / 04/06/2013 at 4:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

by Z'ev / 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

by slightlyworried / 04/05/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy