About elerbears : Hey guys!
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elerbears's favorite FMLs
by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health
by Stacy Dee / 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
by Cuppycake / 05/04/2011 at 1:33am / Canada / Health
by sophie / 04/13/2011 at 12:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
by thenotsomanlyman / 03/07/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Animals
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
by rog3rli / 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML
by ohshootgirl / 10/03/2010 at 10:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
by shitpile / 08/06/2010 at 2:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tp / 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
by Yoooooo0 / 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
by bigdaddy / 09/25/2009 at 11:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
by m / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…