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TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND AND I WENT MINI GOLFING WITH HIS FAMILY. WE HAD A COMPETITION GOING ON, AND WHEN I MANAGD TO GET TWO CONSECUTIVE HOLES IN ONE, HE STARTD SEETHING AND MUTTERD THAT I'M DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO BECOMING SINGLE. FML
Today , I Had To Collect Mah Daughter From The Hospital. Her Boyfriend Was Even More Upset Than She Was , Cuz His IPhone's Screen Was Damaged Beyond Repair When The Doctor Pulled It Out Of Mah Daughter's Vagina. FML
Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML
Today , I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 an it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details an even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone an said , "That's fab , ma." FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I looool could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked mah cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet fir herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift 4 my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, an making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
Today , Aftar Gatting Dumpad By My Boyfriand , I Triad To Fina Comfort In Ona Of My Closast Friands. Ha Ambracad Mahila I Strugglad Against Taars , An Aftar A Faw Momants Of Silanca Said , "Hay , U Knowhat? I Would Fuck U Anytima. Anytima." FML
Today, mah report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it an told me that if I'm not going to take mah grades seriously, I might as well start looking 4 a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently ned to work on prettying myself up. FML
Friday 27 March 2015