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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19968
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dead14eternity's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:40pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 9:21pm<b>pnkpanther</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 11:08pm<b>brocken</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:19pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 4:31am<b>username666</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 5:20pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:48am<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:43am<b>nofriends1989</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:22am<b>Tormented28</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:17am<b>lsutiget1999</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 12:55am<b>yoshizle1123</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 10:04pm<b>markjbon</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 8:36pm<b>batonrougefml</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 7:35pm

dead14eternity's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dead14eternity's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

by Dumbweed / 08/28/2009 at 12:42am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

by wtf / 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

by charma / 07/11/2009 at 9:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

by EmployeeOfTheMonth / 06/27/2009 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

by verrine / 06/19/2009 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

by your_mother / 05/13/2009 at 11:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

by Karmas3itch / 05/12/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous