I'm a teenage dude who can't wait to start college this fall semester. I've been an active member of my high school's swimming and football teams, and I managed to get mostly A's out of a fairly tough curriculum. Some of my hobbies include watching movies, playing videogames, listening to music (preferably rock, but I can roll with some hip-hop and such), and going on road trips.
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you totally deserved it (4932)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you totally deserved it (4011)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:29am - kids - by FAIL (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you totally deserved it (4388)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5770) - you totally deserved it (39000)
On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6372) - you totally deserved it (33312)
On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you totally deserved it (41363)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you totally deserved it (2761)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33857) - you totally deserved it (4527)
On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you totally deserved it (13207)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32075) - you totally deserved it (2098)
On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called my fiance and found out she is 9 weeks pregnant. I had been in Iraq for over 6 months. I also found out her and her new boyfriend already spent most of my $30,000 re-enlistment bonus on a new car and a trip to Las Vegas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83428) - you totally deserved it (2288)
On 07/12/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by OIF-my-life (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10385) - you totally deserved it (38838)
On 06/26/2009 at 1:31am - love - by f03_f0r_l1f3 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33637) - you totally deserved it (17929)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49039) - you totally deserved it (4812)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you totally deserved it (4442)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
