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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2624
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:58pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:34am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 7:52pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>dmblonde</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:18am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:06pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:39pm<b>fmlxxsb</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 6:58pm<b>samquenda</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 5:30pm<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:12am<b>SwimmerBoy16</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 3:57pm<b>immenselyalive</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:42am<b>FerretFTW</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:43am

cookiesFTW's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (27420)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12237) - you deserved it (27299)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (8733)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (1900)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (3121)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43560) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (2947)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (30078)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

#18809719
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37620) - you deserved it (4269)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (8602)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (38784)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)



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