cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9402
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 9:33pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:46pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:28am<b>redheadedbabe420</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:12am<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:44am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:54am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:21pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:30pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:35am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:46am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:04pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

by T3STI / 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

by T3STI / 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML

by UnderConstruction / 05/04/2012 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

by unfortunate / 04/25/2012 at 12:50am / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous