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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2583
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:58pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:34am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 7:52pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>dmblonde</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:18am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:06pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:39pm<b>fmlxxsb</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 6:58pm<b>samquenda</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 5:30pm<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:12am<b>SwimmerBoy16</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 3:57pm<b>immenselyalive</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:42am<b>FerretFTW</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:43am

cookiesFTW's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2307)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

#19688596
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (31561)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by taylortotscx - United States (Florida)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18260) - you deserved it (2128)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (6768)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

#19669022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16153) - you deserved it (6759)

On 05/23/2012 at 6:50pm - misc - by Shopper (woman) - United States

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (2062)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (4073)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (2225)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

#19647368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (1864)

On 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cheesfactor (woman) - Bulgaria (Ruse)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11800) - you deserved it (19781)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (36342)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14353) - you deserved it (36174)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (3068)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13250) - you deserved it (168923)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13250) - you deserved it (168923)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)



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