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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7249
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

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cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (7417)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Suicidal (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (14672)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (61327)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16088) - you deserved it (38079)

On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9207) - you deserved it (73164)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35323) - you deserved it (4389)

On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10059) - you deserved it (45279)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14133) - you deserved it (38801)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (4250)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (2960)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML


I agree, your life sucks (9130) - you deserved it (59120)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (3583)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (3287)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (6619)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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