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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW
  • Town/Country : Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1586
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42612) - you deserved it (3190)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58762) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (3448)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49726) - you deserved it (5251)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (7687)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (8283)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36537) - you deserved it (29886)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19345) - you deserved it (59163)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (14710)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35414) - you deserved it (18407)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (10894)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (9496)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (9882)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (5709)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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