cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Ontario, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10102
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 7:02am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 3:56am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 11:46pm<b>socksxox</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 8:03am<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 11:37am<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 6:11pm<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 9:33pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:46pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:28am<b>redheadedbabe420</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:12am<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:44am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:54am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:09am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:21pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:30pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:46am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:04pm<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

by Insanity / 04/09/2015 at 1:28am / France (Centre) / Kids

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

by :O / 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

by mareecasellafml / 03/27/2015 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

by ILoveLamps / 03/25/2015 at 2:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

by lilipalmer / 02/13/2015 at 1:44am / France / Love

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

by 1415926 / 01/22/2015 at 12:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

by myboyfriendisweird / 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

by Red / 12/04/2014 at 11:31am / Love

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

by bookworm / 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

by ThaBoss12 / 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

by Halloween Fail / 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

by AnonymousAmber / 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy