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cookiesFTW

Offline (the 05/24/2015 at 6:13pm) | Search for a member

cookiesFTW

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5832
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:35am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:05pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm

Fucked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (2621)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (4433)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (13385)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (44147)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (17646)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, two days after sending her flowers for Valentine's Day, my dream girl asked me on a date. She didn't show up. Her boyfriend did though. FML

#21062645
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46865) - you deserved it (9194)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by bruisedandconfused (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38947) - you deserved it (8552)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (47886)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61448) - you deserved it (4562)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (5224)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (57541)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56283) - you deserved it (6922)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (3686)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)



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