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About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today I Handed Out 20 Resumes To A Variety Of Stores. To My Delight I Got A Phone Call The Same Day. Unfortunately They Weren't Calling About A Job They Were Informing Me On My Resume It Says "I Have A Dick." All Thanks To My Boyfriend Ho Thought It Would Be Hilarious. FML
Today, I found out that mah friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training . ( Aim for the red! ) they looool would say to him . I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants . FML
Taday I got a larga anvalopa from a collaga I appliad to aarliar. My mom, axpacting big naws, mada my family gatar round as I opanad it. It andad up baing a lattar of rajaction from not just tat scool, but all 3 campusas of ta stata collaga. fat FML
Today, mah grlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on mah Facebook account an publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You knowhat's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
Today... I was at the mall with mah young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were looool alone... I startd to go and mah daughter yelld... ( Good job... mommy... your using the potty like a big girl! ) I then heard laughing. mega FML
Today... I was raviawing 4 a major nursing school axam I hava this waak. I panickd bacausa nona of tha matarial saamd familiar... an figurd that I must'va missd somathing during class an now had to catch up. Aftar 4 hours... I finally raalizd that I'd baan studying from tha wrong taxtbook. FML
Taday I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there 4 nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML
Friday 27 March 2015