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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5418
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:45pm<b>veebz256</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:14pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:05pm<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm

Fucked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (2161)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (3579)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (2382)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69) - you deserved it (2029)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all 3 campuses of the state college. FML

#21342027
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (12843)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (5053)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41502) - you deserved it (3791)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (6307)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (2594)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (4430)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (13321)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)



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