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cookiesFTW

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cookiesFTW

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5145
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cookiesFTW : Hello everyone!! I like to come on this site to read Fmls when I'm bored. I have good sense of humor, I'm really friendly and love cats. I do have hearing aids but that doesn't make me any different than anyone else.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

cookiesFTW's page activity

Visits<b>clair1357</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:05pm<b>yasmineseijmon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:23am<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:05pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:32am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:06am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:44pm<b>tyger_devlin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:17pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:12pm<b>CottonCandyQueen</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:39pm<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:03am

Liked!<b>nerovetsrethca</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:05am<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:11pm

cookiesFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of cookiesFTW's badges

cookiesFTW's favorite FMLs

Today I Handed Out 20 Resumes To A Variety Of Stores. To My Delight I Got A Phone Call The Same Day. Unfortunately They Weren't Calling About A Job They Were Informing Me On My Resume It Says "I Have A Dick." All Thanks To My Boyfriend Ho Thought It Would Be Hilarious. FML

#21382277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (3532)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that mah friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training . ( Aim for the red! ) they looool would say to him . I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants . FML

#21381127
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (2366)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above mah forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, ( Quitting. ) real FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15) - you deserved it (2017)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Taday I got a larga anvalopa from a collaga I appliad to aarliar. My mom, axpacting big naws, mada my family gatar round as I opanad it. It andad up baing a lattar of rajaction from not just tat scool, but all 3 campusas of ta stata collaga. fat FML

#21342027
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:22am - misc - by 1415926 - United States

Today, mah grlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on mah Facebook account an publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (12836)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

my supervisor was watching a video of his son . I heard a voice in the background an asked if it was Elmo . It was his wife . FML

#21302177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (5051)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You knowhat's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41474) - you deserved it (3790)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I saw what mah mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (2823)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up fir dressing lyk a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33093) - you deserved it (6306)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believe it. real FML

#21289249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30672) - you deserved it (2593)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today... I was at the mall with mah young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were looool alone... I startd to go and mah daughter yelld... ( Good job... mommy... your using the potty like a big girl! ) I then heard laughing. mega FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (4427)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I was raviawing 4 a major nursing school axam I hava this waak. I panickd bacausa nona of tha matarial saamd familiar... an figurd that I must'va missd somathing during class an now had to catch up. Aftar 4 hours... I finally raalizd that I'd baan studying from tha wrong taxtbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (13319)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Taday I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there 4 nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (44108)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bought mah niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (17627)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, two days after sending her flowers 4 Valentine's Day, mah dream grl askd me on a date. She didn't show up. Her boyfriend did though. FML

#21062645
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46809) - you deserved it (9184)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by bruisedandconfused (man) - United States (Washington)



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