About christiebaby578 : Hi there. You probably clicked on my account by accident, but I'll tell you a bit about myself anyway.
I am agnostic, and I have traveled the world and seen many, many different kinds of religions. I don't believe that there is one that rises above all others.
Also, I do love to laugh at other people's misfortunes... Only on FML can I do it and not feel guilty.
Have a nice day. And if it's not so nice, be sure to post about it on FML so I can have a laugh.
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Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16495) - you deserved it (1324)
On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (4379)
On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (3053)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (3462)
On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6305) - you deserved it (15838)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (1401)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (10743)
On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17903) - you deserved it (3323)
On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (31179)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24587) - you deserved it (1687)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7669) - you deserved it (26848)
On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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