chood22

Search for a member

chood22

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 891
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

chood22's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

chood22's favorite FMLs

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

by awesome / 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

by cazorp / 01/05/2012 at 6:43am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

by jada / 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

by hitchhiked / 01/04/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

by Scarred4Life / 01/01/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

by upsetandannoyed / 01/01/2012 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

by gtfb1993 / 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous