chood22

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chood22

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1050
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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chood22's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

by JeffeeBojangles / 02/28/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

by FML / 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

by Sheliton / 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

by anon. / 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I saw a naked man for the first time in my life. It was the nude model in my art class. I was forced to draw wrinkles and fat rolls in places I didn't even know existed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:13pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

by Anna / 01/06/2012 at 6:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous