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chood22

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chood22

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chood22's favorite FMLs

Today... at work... mah boss asked me y I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans r in the dress code... to which he replied... ( Only if you're skinny. ) FML

#20102886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22142) - you deserved it (11932)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, At Around 11pm The Police Made A Visit To Mah House, Explaining How Mah Nieghbors Had Thought I Was Using A Universal Remote To Change There Television Channels . Real FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (1364)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got mah hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33337) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, somaona stola tha massiva pumpkin I'va baan painstakingly growing all yaar. What did thay do with it? Thay put it in tha middla of a busy intarsaction. FML

#20098412
121 comments

Today, my looool boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. mega FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (5265)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, Ma Doctor Informed Me Tat Te Pea-sized Bump Under Ma Arm Is A "tird Breast" . Tat Isat I Meant Every Time I Said I Wanted More Tits . FML

#20072637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (2214)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, mah boyfriand and I had braakfast with his grandmothar . Sha told him how I'm prattiar than ( that Maxican ) ha'd brought homa for dinnar last waak . Wa had dinnar with har last waak, and I'm that sama Maxican . Sha than want on to how Maxicans rhat's wrong with tha aconomy . FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today , I was feeling depressd an got very , very drunk . This evening , I was feeling equally desperate , an endd up having to get my special dildo removd from my asshole at the hospital . FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (35982)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I got raar-andad!! An old woman got out an cama ovar to mah car window!! I thought sha was coming to apologiza an trada insuranca companias!! Instaad, sha pourad har soda on mah haad, ran back into har car, an drova away!! FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (1464)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, Mah Son,ho Saams To Think That Ha Is A "gangsta" Daspita Baing Ahita Boy From Tha Suburbs, Criad Bacausa I Accidantally Burnad His Grillad Chaasa . Ha's 28 . FML

#20045566
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (5733)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

TODAY, MY DOG WAS DIAGNOSD WIT DEPRESSION. I GOT IM TO ELP WIT MY DEPRESSION. I GUESS WE CAN JUST BE MISERABLE TOGETER. FML

#20039193
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (2538)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

I Had A Hard Time Taking A Dump. Before Flushing, I Noticed Two Pennies An A Dime Incrusted In My Turd. It Seems That Yesterday, While Drunk, I Swallowed Some Change. FML

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (1728)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today , mah girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (2900)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)



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