Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chewychips

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

chewychips

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1587
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:34am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

chewychips's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of chewychips's badges

chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (16091)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (2259)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

#21330766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (3687)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (6884)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42827) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (16830)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36141) - you deserved it (3935)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (4115)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (35129)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32867) - you deserved it (8909)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (5687)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48476) - you deserved it (13604)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: