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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (3964)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (4558)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15223) - you deserved it (2055)
On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14822) - you deserved it (6245)
On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14737) - you deserved it (3778)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (1781)
On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5233) - you deserved it (27729)
On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7882) - you deserved it (21648)
On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (3123)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (3066)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (1979)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (3452)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (10964)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (2875)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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