Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chewychips

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

chewychips

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1955
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

chewychips's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of chewychips's badges

chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

#21472718
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (2008)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

#21472645
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (1636)

On 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by itwaswarm - United States (New York)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

#21472094
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22033) - you deserved it (2900)

On 09/24/2015 at 2:31am - misc - by wifeofafainter - United States (New York)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

Today, while playing with a group of kids at the school where I work, I heard an immense rip. I looked down and recoiled in shock as I noticed a gaping maw in my pants stretching from my ass to my left kneecap. I had to finish the rest of the day and walk home like that. FML

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

#21466251
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (7158)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27530) - you deserved it (7456)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

#21465257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm - love - by tessie94 (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

#21465050
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (2226)

On 09/05/2015 at 11:31pm - misc - by earlytermination - United States

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (1710)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (1628)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (18458)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (1457)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: