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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29561) - you deserved it (2564)
On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29478) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (10129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (1280)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19922) - you deserved it (2904)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13161) - you deserved it (2307)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (2928)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (3027)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (5306)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (1737)
On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4329) - you deserved it (29216)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (1714)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (1217)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (1911)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18371) - you deserved it (2455)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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