chewychips

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chewychips

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  • Number of visits : 2349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:57am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

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The Mixer

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chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

by Lord_Nick / 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

by fuckoffgramps / 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my dad let me borrow his phone while I wait for mine to get back from the shop. I guess he forgot to pass the news along, because within 4 hours I'd received a picture of my mom's tits. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 12:51am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

by AustinFFA / 01/22/2016 at 11:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 5:50am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

by tye61 / 01/16/2016 at 7:54am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

by ywouldudomelikethat / 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy