Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chewychips

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

chewychips

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:34am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

chewychips's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of chewychips's badges

chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56778) - you deserved it (6845)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (6109)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48044) - you deserved it (4883)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52166) - you deserved it (5042)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32781) - you deserved it (52509)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49807) - you deserved it (4454)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51581) - you deserved it (4498)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (5660)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (16286)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (6136)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
107 comments

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41589) - you deserved it (6661)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (38527)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56112) - you deserved it (7058)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: