chewychips

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chewychips

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  • Number of visits : 2572
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:57am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

chewychips's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with my long time crush of three years. Everything was going great, until I found out he supports Donald Trump. FML

by anon / 05/10/2016 at 9:30pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on my ceiling fan for the first time in months. I then watched as hundreds of furry spiders were flung across the room at high speed, in a circular pattern. FML

by Oops / 05/02/2016 at 12:21am / Animals

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

by AintEasyBeinWheezy / 04/28/2016 at 2:26pm / United States / Health

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML

by Katt / 04/25/2016 at 2:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML

by UnluckyLatina / 04/21/2016 at 11:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm / United States (Delaware) / Kids

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing my hands in a public bathroom when a lady came in, looked at me in the mirror and then opened the door again to check if she was in the right bathroom. FML

by itsnotalright / 03/17/2016 at 12:25am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

by Anon / 03/15/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML

by GrandTheftArson / 03/08/2016 at 10:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML

by ReComatosed242 / 03/08/2016 at 7:29pm / Bahamas / Work