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chewychips

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chewychips

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chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:34am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

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chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (1891)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (2269)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28427) - you deserved it (6293)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (14996)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (1907)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

#21330766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34352) - you deserved it (6139)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (15574)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (3526)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (33142)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)



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