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chewychips

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chewychips

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  • Number of visits : 1485
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chewychips's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:34am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:28am<b>CharlizeWasHere</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:46pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:37pm<b>ajhill722</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:26am

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chewychips's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML

#21432890
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (4025)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (2275)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (5132)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML

#21430410
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2188)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:13pm - love - by hairstylistprobs - United States

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (3679)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (3687)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (11487)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (4440)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29504) - you deserved it (8585)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

#21421481
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (2018)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by fugly - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (3592)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

#21418362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (11537)

On 05/31/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

#21417667
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15269) - you deserved it (23463)

On 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm - health - by not a kiddy fiddler really (man) - United States (California)



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