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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (5643)
On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (8391)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (2681)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (7078)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (3371)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7086) - you deserved it (24598)
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (3995)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (16314)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (5093)
On 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm - love - by sherryberry2013 - United States
Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8876) - you deserved it (28430)
On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -
Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (3217)
On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (9135)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (41056)
On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60998) - you deserved it (7592)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (5529)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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