Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

carmel1110

Search for a member

carmel1110

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2833
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

carmel1110's page activity

Visits<b>Lee_Mimbs</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:46pm<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:48pm<b>xFade26</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:46am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:34pm<b>CJKerr</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:00am<b>gunzerker</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:32am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:43am<b>Deathwinner95</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:05pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:32pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:32am<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:36pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:24am<b>callcopse</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:36am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Sundevil99</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:47pm

Fucked!<b>xFade26</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:47am

carmel1110's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of carmel1110's badges

carmel1110's favorite FMLs

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5931) - you deserved it (51248)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (18507)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (3653)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (5530)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1963)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (61244)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (2178)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (4861)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2191)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8793) - you deserved it (53462)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (4557)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: