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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisse is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Today.. . my girlfriend an I decidd to try a new place to eat . On our way home we both had upset stomachs . As we racd into the house we realizd niether of us could hold it any longer . Having only one bathroom.. . I let her go first . She explodd on the toilet an I explodd in my pants . FML
Today, After Having Sex For The First Time With Mah Girlfriend, I Realisd I Was In Love With Her!! I Noticd She Had An Eyelash On Her Breast!! After Tugging It A Few Times I Realisd It Was Actually A Single Black Nipple Hair!! She Was So Embarrassd, She Kickd Me Out And Now Won't Return Mah Calls!! Big Fat FML
Today, I recievd a package from a local guy on Craigslist . Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only containd a photo of an iPhone . The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so mah husband went over and beat the shit out of him . I now have to bail him out of jail . FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML
Today , I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day , but no reply. After a while , I became worried so I called. She picked up an said , "Can't talk , busy." Not even a minute later , my best friend says to me , "Dude , tell yur girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
Today... the girl I dumped three yeres ago because she wouldn't take mah band seriously is now a successful an rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile... I'm still unemployed... living with mah parents... an can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML
Today , Aftar Savaral Yaars Spant Ung Up On Ma Ax , I Was Finally Moving On. I Was On A Data Wit Ma Naw Boyfriand Wan Ma Ax Walkd Past Us. Ha Broka Down Crying , Got On Is Knaas , An Baggd Ma To Coma Back. FML
Today, My "friends" Set Me Up On A Blind Date With A Guy Who According To There Description, Sounded Perfect In Just About Every Way . He Turned Out To Be My Obsessive Ex, An This Is There Idea Of A Funny Prank . FML
Friday 27 March 2015